I'm not used to being happy for so long.

But I'm lovin' it.

There's always one guy in your life...

who might have had...


the most awful hairstyle,








the most ugly outfit, (R.A. everyone!!!)









said the most awful words,
SAY sexual napalm to Jessica Simpson!




flirted with women that disgust you,









never knew of your existence,
but you'll still adore him.

I don't want a play-by-play of your break-up.

My friend is giving all her 385 'friends' (including me) what she's going through after her break-up which...let me check...happened three hours ago.

She has since cried in town (she just said 'town' I don't know exactly where in town) and 'pointed' a middle finger at him.

I was going to sigh and complain about the things that people post on FB. But then I realised: It's their choice! Who am I to judge?! I'm not the one in her shoes. Maybe she needs comfort right now.

So I've decided to blog about something else instead. Something I always blog about! heh heh heh. Coz that's the most interesting thing that happens in my life you see.

My mum has been nagging at me to....get attached! When I was 20, I thought I was too young for a relationship. Now I'm 21 (and the right age to get attached so says my mum), I'm not ready for a relationship. Maybe when I'm 22 I'll come up with a new excuse. Heh heh must start thinking of one to fend off her Nag Attack(s)!

I don't think I have high standards. Not at all. I believe in The One, that only a few people in the world can fully compliment you. And once he appears, you'll just feel the spark.

My sister does not believe in it. The spark is just first impression, says she. And first impression is based on looks and how the guy carries himself.

I believe that if The One comes, you feel the spark coz you know he's just The One for you!But now I'm beginning to doubt what I believe in coz The One has not arrived yet.

So...I think I might have to take my mum's advice and start dating guys who don't feel like The One (i.e. without spark). I'm going to wait for my prince in shining armour for a while more! Maybe the Internet has some mysterious power and zap my The One as he is using laptop and make him knock on my door. *clings on to my belief*

Guilt.

I just face-stalked someone.

Someone who I thought was quite handsome.

But after looking through his FB pictures...*cough* I don't think so anymore!

I hope there's no application on FB which allows one to find out who stalked you!

Saw an Aveil-lookalike outside Woodlands Library today.

But the less confident and scrawnier version.

Reminded me of A nonetheless.

Wonder if he is still as vain as ever.

Don't know why I dated Mr. A in the first place.

Not even my cup of tea!! I think it was the ACJC uniform.

I'm going to take a nap now. Goodnight!

GUYS.

If you want to ask a girl out, you must be explicit!





Even if we're interested, we won't respond to your half-baked request. Bake your pie well please. (But even if it's baked well but not to our taste, too bad for you.)

That's the advice for the day.

I want to be an amazing chemist/ scientist.

Don't we all? Even those who abhor Chemistry...If you're in CBC, there is a tiny bit in you who wants to be amazing, famous and good at what you're studying.

I wonder if the Nobel Prize winners enjoyed doing their laboratory reports. I wonder if they really liked what they were studying. Was everything a breeze for them?

I do enjoy Chemistry. But I feel there is so little of it I understand. There is so so much yet to be discovered about the universe. And so much I've yet to learn.

Maybe my passion for Chemistry would be re-ignited if I was studying alone. I can study at my own pace. Learn because I want to. Study because I enjoy doing so. Not study because if I don't I will fall behind in this rat race. Chasing for one stupid paper that says Second Upper/lower.

And be mediocre for my entire life.

Humans are disgustingly hard to satisfy isn't it?

I want to live in a small town selling children books.
And yes, that's silly.
But getting a degree doesn't guarantee you a happy life anyway.
You enter the corporate world and see an uglier side of the world.
At least children don't judge. Children don't scheme. Children don't bitch.
They have much love to give.

If someone can bitch about a person to you. You can be darn sure he/ she can bitch about you to another.

There's this single friend in my university life whom I do not trust.
Yet I have to work with.

He/ She, on countless occasions, has bitched about different people to me.
People whom I've seen him/her interact from far.
Seen him/ her act as though they were the best of friends.

Sometimes, I know how to deal with difficult people. But for people who go behind-the-scenes and talk bad about me. Weave their own perceptions and poison the minds of others...I'm clueless.

I want to stay far far away from him/ her yet I know I have to work with him/ her.
It's like a chess game with him/ her. Make calculated moves.
Know what to say. What not to.

Here's a helpful link: http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Poisonous-Friends

It's so hard to trust someone in university. Everyone seems to have their own agenda.

I have a tendency to tell too much to someone. Only to realize that person told his/ her friends.

Everyone is so critical of one another. Pin-point your tiniest faults. When you were in primary/ secondary school, you just had to be yourself.

No one would say "Hey, are you exploiting me?" when you're asking for a simple favour which you would gladly return. (Seriously, I'm only asking for 1 of your risk hazards for lab...)

Or say "You're a sly fox/ you're a bad woman." over a game. Even in jest, which friend says that?

I mean, you get hurt by what's said and done but I guess you just shrug and think, they're most probably not here to stay anyway.

I eat hearts.

Yesterday night I just ate one.
While previously I would hide in one corner to nibble on it then take slow juicy bites, this time, I just gobbled it down and stamped on the rest of the all-too-chewy parts.


Now let me go back to my hobby, heart-hunting.


It's never a 50:50 chance guys.
The girl already has on her mind the ratio.
You just have to figure it out the ratio and stop confession from spewing out when the ratio is not in your favour.

And there is no pleasant way to refuse. Under all that chocolate coating and chocolate rice and full cream and fruits, a pile of dung awaits you.

Admiration for Chemistry = k(Grades for Chemistry modules)

I feel like I'm disliking Chemistry more. Especially CBC214. It's like a jigsaw puzzle I can't fix. I understand each piece but I just can't fix them together. Equations after equations shoved down my throat.

Another hill to conquer for lab module this semester. Unknown machines. This time, I'm not given dealing with compounds. It's machines!!

WAI am I doing Chemistry? The answers for questions are definite, no room for argument.

Dropping GPA that I'm trying to save. One more semester of horrible GPA and I'm screwed for life.

Luckily I'm taking HL814! Which I simply adore. Although the essays scare me, I enjoy the lectures immensely! I don't dread it at all! (Even though it ends at 730pm.)

I'm going to end my whining session and curl myself in bed now.

First Day of School.

Skipped whole of CBC214 to get HW.
Felt depressed about my GPA.
Then cheered up when mummy finally said yes to Edinburgh!
Excited now.
Skeleton-planning my trip (Already?!).
Thinking of going couch-surfing.
But results for application not out yet.
Still excited!

Emotional Baggage.

Watched HIMYM. An episode on how everyone has emotional baggage. Slowly discovering it is true.

What's yours?

Love and Other Drugs




Topped my "Most Disappointing Movies" list. The trailer was good. The cast was good. The plot seemed different from other sappy romance movies.

But the movie was really bad.
1. 50% of the screen time was Jake Gyllenhaal having sex with another woman. (Or one scene, "women".)
2. There was no development of characters. It was just them meeting each other, making love then suddenly Gyllenhaal becomes successful and then, they fight and make up. Every plot, character and detail was just vague and and loose ends were well, tied flimsily together at the end of the movie.

What made Jamie (Gyllenhaal) love Maggie (Hatteway)? I still don't know.
Was Jamie really that a great guy as Maggie said he was? That wasn't explored.

Even the reason that Maggie broke up with Jamie wasn't even explicit. It was just "Since you can't accept who I am, we need to break up." And next scene, Jamie has packed his stuff and the only protest he's got is "We don't need to do this."



However , it does have some good points...
1. Introduces you to the pharmaceutical industry. (Its competitiveness, etc.) And perhaps a little of the reality of the medical industry.
2. You get to see Gyllenhaal and Hatteway naked.

So, if you're intending to watch it. You might need popcorn. For the lousy plot which you just frown upon and just wait for Hatteway to appear in the movie. (Which is a good 30 min or 45 min into the film.)

I really hated it. Girls, please download it in Funshion and watch it. But don't go to the cinema. It's not worth it.

Oh, oh! For people following the colourful love life of Taylor Swift: http://www.disneydreaming.com/2011/01/16/has-taylor-swift-already-moved-on-from-jake-gyllenhaal/

She has no right to write Dear John, because I feel she is just as bad.

21 and single.

How does that feel like?
Sometimes scary, sometimes nonchalant.

Scary because I see no prospects of becoming attached anytime soon.

Nonchalant because I figured I have no need of a boyfriend.

It's kind of an oxymoron - I don't know if I want one or not.

When I see happy couples hand-in-hand, I admit it does stir a warm longing ache. I mentally scroll through my mind, for the suitors that I can accept. But a latch always locks the door and say "Never settle for less." And by "less", I mean anything less than "the one". I don't know if he even exists.

But when someone shows signs of interest, I have my defenses up. I'd concentrate on the negative traits (or rather, traits I find undesirable) of the person. My mum thinks I should at least give them a chance and go out on a date or two with them. But why give false hope when I've already decided? Will I change my mind if I go out with them?

The awkwardness and the slight feeling of disgust (Why am I doing here with you?) when we have our meal. The fake smile and the fake sparkle I have to plaster on my eyes. The cringing look masked as a laugh. The internal voice in your head that goes "Oh what a turn off. What a turn off." as I think of his "undesirable" traits.



That takes up a damn large amount of my energy. And in between this energy I waste, there's only 0.0001% chance I am able to see something nice about him because I'm too busy filling my self-pity bucket.



Oh why are you slouching, so uncertain of yourself? TURN OFF.

Oh why are you so egoistic, you male chauvinistic windbag? TURN OFF.

I only see the two extreme ends of the spectrum.

______________________________________________

Or maybe, the problem lies with the male! Not me.



Can't they be more creative? A date constitutes to 80% of the male population as dinner + movie.
For goodness' sake! If you want a date, shouldn't you do some research?



Dinner + movie is pointless! Half the time I'm sitting in the dark (feeling vulnerable) and you're not giving me a chance to know you more, idiot! Do you think we'll talk during the movie?

We'll talk about the movie if we have dinner after the movie. And if we have dinner before the movie, most of the time is spent to break the ice.

And most girls only give guys that they won't consider one date to prove themselves. So good luck to you if you ask a girl out for a D+M date.

GAH. Anyway, bff, at this rate I'm going, you'd better not be married when you're 30!

I told you I don't play mind games.
There you go,
I just striked you off my list. (:

Things you do on a Sunday.

Click to enlarge!


Doesn't take much to guess which username I'm taking. :D

Anyway, the alien picture was drawn by me. Drummer picture by Numerics. He was the one who combined them together to "diss" me.

You can never ever flag a taxi when you need it the most.

Yesterday.

How I fell in love:

I remember that day ever so early.

I was sitting in Island Creamary, dipping stawberry Pocky sticks into my applecrumble ice-cream. I was with my cell group. I remember tuning out of their conversation and watching the cars go by from the ceiling-to-floor glass windows.

It was when I heard.


Clarity by John Mayer.

It was the perfect song, for that particular laidback day of ice-cream.

So I began, at the age of sixteen, loving John Mayer.





Then again, every song of his is perfect.
I've come to appreciate him alot these few months. Watching his random ramblings during shows on Youtube, you find that he is so unafraid of criticism, at times putting his foot in his mouth.

But I think for every JM fan, it's what they love about him: his honesty.

Of course, the fact that he's so so hot! :D I mean, he's not handsome but he's just like, so talented, so confident of himself, so at ease that you'll be a melted puddle.

I want to see him perform. Still on my to-do list before I die.

Try the album Where The Light Is!

















And I think JM is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy better than Jason Mraz. Mraz is nowhere near JM. (HEHEHEHE Pravin, online declaration.)

Sometimes I wonder if I am missing out in life.

Especially when I log into Facebook and see my friends (and 'friends') sun-tanning on the beach, partying --> not necessarily drinking, eating yummy food, having fun with friends etc.

And I'm sitting on my old green roller chair scrolling through the 'recently posted wall'.

Maybe sometimes I'll play iSketch, Jamlegend (don't roll your eyes if you know what it is! I prolly can beat you on Skilled. >:D ) or watch telly.

The thing is, everytime before I head out of the house, one thought never fails to get out of my brain: How can I escape this?

It's like there is this spring that pulls me back into the house everytime before I leave it. If I'm going out to meet a friend for dinner I'll think: I don't really feel like going out. Maybe I shouln't go out. So what excuse can I come out with this time?

So the times where you see me out of the house, it's when I run dry of excuses not to.

I do that for everyone though. Even babe. (don't hit me please!! *cower*)

****
The weird thing is that if I go out consecutively for like, three days, I start to feel very unhappy and think I'm in desperate need of a cave day --> term for days where I stay at home, refusing to go out.

Really really unhappy. On the third consecutive day where I head out, I'll be thinking: I need to leave early somehow. Or: I really dislike this person (even though I actually don't). I'll turn into this irritable, nasty and mean bitch even w/o PMS.

This is where I feel terribly conflicted. While others seem having fun, when I am in their shoes, I feel absolutely discontented. Oh, I know I'm a weirdo already, thanks.

So I reach back to the same conclusion everytime. I'm always happier staying at home, wondering what I am missing out in life. Because, in reality, I don't know what I am missing out since I do not know how the appreciate the real joys of social life.

Maybe this is how being a mother feels like.




WORRYING.

I'm worried crazy over my two kids. If I don't express it now I think I'll burst like a bubble gum that's blown too huge.

I'm tutoring two kids now.

(1) One is a Sec 1 kid who is really sweet. Very polite but lazy. He'll do the homework I assign him one hour before tuition. HOW TO SUBMIT DECENT WORK IF YOU DO LAST MINUTE! ):
So for the past six months I've been receiving last-minute scribblings.

(2) Two is a Pri 5 kid. She is very mischeivous. And she's refuses to put in her best. (At least One will try his hardest to think of the answer when I ask him a question.) I don't know how to motivate her.

What I'm doing now:

(1) For One, although the half-baked work does bother me, it is not at the top of my concerns. He answers questions that I ask and actively participates in the lessons, clarifying his doubts and such. BUT he's learning Acids and Alkalis (science) and Angles (maths) now and he's having trouble for the first time this year.

I remember how in Secondary 1 I had the same problem. The teacher would shove equations down my throat, asking me to memorize them. And I don't want to do that to One.

A: Sulfuric acid + carbonate --> Salt + water + carbon dioxide
B: Sulfuric acid + metal --> Salt + hydrogen

My dearest One asked me yesterday why can't water be produced as well for B. I have no idea how to explain it to him sufficiently succint without going in dept into the chemistry. Keep in mind that poor sec ones do not know our friendly neighbours electrons, protons and neutrons yet. So they wouldn't know the chemical formulae of sulphate and his multi-atomic friends.

Anyway I found a way of explaning it to him somehow yesterday. I was literally squeezing his brain dry.

"So carbonate with acid will always produce carbon dioxide" *squeeze*
"How can acid with metal produce carbon dioxide??" *squeeze*
"Tell me what elements sulfuric acid contains." *squeeze*
"You forgot what are elements??????" *squeeze*

Poor One.



(2) Two doesn't complete the homework I give. Oops. I should say H.W. because she hates the word "homework" (and will say, "Don't say it!!" when I'm about to say "Homework"). When I'm teaching she'll lay her head on the table. I ask her a question, she'll shrug her shoulders. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

The thing is if I prompt her, she knows the answer. She just refuses to think.

Do you know I got a C for maths in PSLE? Before every lesson, I'd plan first. Then complete the maths questions before I head for tuition. And when your dear student mischievously refuses to think, it gets really disheartening.

Two didn't complete her H.W. again yesterday. So in addition to the new H.W. I assigned her yesterday, she must complete the ones from previous lesson. I want her to learn that she should not delay doing her H.W. and she should complete it on time. I'm predicting when I visit her on Satuday she wouldn't have completed much either.

I'm lost. Can anyone suggest an effective method for me to employ?

I don't want to punish my students. I don't want them to dread tuition lesson. I want them to think it is a lesson where they can learn yet interact actively with a tutor. So I go by reward system. It doesn't seem to be working well though!



(If you want to get tutor, remember: your tuition rate is proportional to the results your student must receive. So if it pays well, you can be sure as pie that the parents expect results to be rising as fast as your stress level!)

"Hi, I like children but I'm not a paedophile."

When your friend sees a child who is stumbling on his stout little legs and he/she goes, "Look at that baby! He's cute!"

Do you go

"Paedophile."