Especially when I log into Facebook and see my friends (and 'friends') sun-tanning on the beach, partying --> not necessarily drinking, eating yummy food, having fun with friends etc.
And I'm sitting on my old green roller chair scrolling through the 'recently posted wall'.
Maybe sometimes I'll play iSketch, Jamlegend (don't roll your eyes if you know what it is! I prolly can beat you on Skilled. >:D ) or watch telly.
The thing is, everytime before I head out of the house, one thought never fails to get out of my brain: How can I escape this?
It's like there is this spring that pulls me back into the house everytime before I leave it. If I'm going out to meet a friend for dinner I'll think: I don't really feel like going out. Maybe I shouln't go out. So what excuse can I come out with this time?
So the times where you see me out of the house, it's when I run dry of excuses not to.
I do that for everyone though. Even babe. (don't hit me please!! *cower*)
The weird thing is that if I go out consecutively for like, three days, I start to feel very unhappy and think I'm in desperate need of a cave day --> term for days where I stay at home, refusing to go out.
Really really unhappy. On the third consecutive day where I head out, I'll be thinking: I need to leave early somehow. Or: I really dislike this person (even though I actually don't). I'll turn into this irritable, nasty and mean bitch even w/o PMS.
This is where I feel terribly conflicted. While others seem having fun, when I am in their shoes, I feel absolutely discontented. Oh, I know I'm a weirdo already, thanks.
So I reach back to the same conclusion everytime. I'm always happier staying at home, wondering what I am missing out in life. Because, in reality, I don't know what I am missing out since I do not know how the appreciate the real joys of social life.
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