Love said...

i was dead
i came alive
i was tears
i became laughter

all because of love
when it arrived
my temporal life
from then on
changed to eternal

love said to me
you are not
crazy enough
you don't
fit this house

i went and
became crazy
crazy enough
to be in chains

love said
you are not
intoxicated enough
you don't
fit the group

i went and
got drunk
drunk enough
to overflow
with light-headedness

love said
you are still
too clever
filled with
imagination and skepticism

i went and
became gullible
and in fright
pulled away
from it all

love said
you are a candle
attracting everyone
gathering every
one
around you

i am no more
a candle spreading light
i gather no more crowds
and like smoke
i am all scattered now

love said
you are a teacher
you are a head
and for everyone
you are a leader

i am no more
not a teacher
not a leader
just a servant
to your wishes

love said
you already have
your own wings
i will not give you
more feathers

and then my heart
pulled itself apart
and filled to the brim
with a new light
overflowed with fresh life

now even the heavens
are thankful that
because of love
i have become
the giver of light

(Poem taken from Jason Mraz's blog)


Dear friend,
if you only knew this wait has no end. You might think me as ahead you but my feet has not moved for years. Your offered hand is not mine to take. Neither is your heart. You say change but for a person who is right for you, there is no need. I am blessed to be your friend because when I'm with you I feel that I can blurt out anything, still know I'm accepted. I'm glad you're my friend because you're ever so ready to help. I'm happy we're friends because we share the same ideas. But it stops here, my dear friend, because you should move on without me.

Looking at the universities available for INSTEP (exchange programme).

These are the list of universities I'm interested in but yet to see if they match my core modules!

1. Elon University (USA)
http://www.elon.edu/e-web/academics/elon_college/chemistry/courses.xhtml
Looks pretty good huh!
2. Yonsei University (Korea)
Though I don't know Korean but I heard that it's easy to match core modules for my course in this university!
3. Norwegian University of Science and Technology (Norway)
This one only accepts Year 3/ 4. So have to wait one additional semester. ):



I need to go back to Malaysia soon. I don't like Singapore. I don't feel any sense of belonging. Childhood memories in Malaysia beckons!

I'm happy this way so I don't think I want you in my life the way you want to be.




My ECA* (NTU apparantly calls them that.) event is overrrrr! (: Can't wait till my contract is over too. Heehee. But I shan't write too much on my ECA, it's boring.

Oh yeah yesterday was my event, if you didn't know. I was supposed to get the refreshments from a factory in Woodlands and due to my poor directory skills we got horribly lost in the industrial estate. It was then I found out that I have developed my dad's any-direction-also-take-to-reach-destination habit cos I was just directing my friend to whichever direction that I thought it was. MUHAHAHAHA.

But it was quite mean on my part because I failed to think about my friend's petrol cost.

We reached after like an hour of going in circles. My 100ml bladder was screaming. (ANYWAY! Did you know that a human usually can hold up to 200ml of pee??) That aside I actually had a terrible headache cause my friend drives much faster than my 80km/h dad.

I think I need more training for car trips. Usually I'll just tell my dad to stop at any available place with a restroom but you know, it's hard to do that with your friends. Unless it's wunyen then I don't mind. But I don't think I want to sit in the car when she's driving. Heehee.

Oh oh my friend was driving a Merz and only ah peks drive that!!! But I refrained from commenting, sat quietly like a good passenger. Joking, a Merz is awesome. Very smooth car ride.

Next week, ZOO!

p/s Another post w/o photographs. Promise to post photos from zoo.

*ECA = Extra-curriculum activity

I have to apologize for the lack of photographs. Sigh, I do not have the habit of taking photos. ): my photography skills suck too. I think wunyen does a FANTASTIC job though.


These few weeks are going to be (and is already) hectic x 99 but after next week, I'd be free as a bird. So wunyen, alicia and gillian, let's go out then okay! I know wunyen has recently fallen in love with OUAM so maybe two of us can have a date and head over there? (: rum and raisins is good you know!

Anyway I read Syuhrah's blog and she posted something that started like this:




"We have to listen to our emotions and we have to be true to them.
Unfortunately, we can’t decide whether they will be emotions with good
energy or negative energy. But what we can do is express them fully and
immediately. And thus we purge them, and rob them of their ability to
control us."

If you read on, you'd probably get an idea of what is happening. I hope it'll turn out for the better, babe. You need to get out of that place because it seems to be filled with so much negative energy.

The thing I love most about my relationship with babe is that we can don't talk for weeks but once we meet up/chat online/ text each other, we pick up from where we left. There's no preliminaries or awkwardness. We're comfortable with each other.

Anyway, this blog post is going to a purge-of-emotions entry because we want to "rob them of their ability to control us". Heh.


I'm very tired. I've been staying out recently, reaching home at midnight. Involved in something I feel no passion for. I really do sympathize them but being a volunteer for the hearing-impaired does not suit me. I'm not committed, not dedicated to them. How do I educate people about them, when I myself am not enthusiastic about what I do? The only thing that is keeping me in it is the people. There are many many awesome people in RSPHI.

So, munling, you always choose to learn the hard way. Never ever choose a extra-curriculum activity because your friend chose it.

Now I just hope January to quickly arrive and I can join what I really wanted to join. (I signed a bond to the ECA, you see.)

Moving on...

I don't know if it's a recent trend or it's something you only experience when you get older or it's just that universities (or only my university) are filled with desperate guys but...there are so many guys out there looking for a girlfriend.

That sounds harmless. But they just want a girlfriend for the sake of having one. They don't consider the consequences, like the commitment you have to contribute. Their desire for a girlfriend is usually expressed as "Uni life/ hostel very boring ah! I need a girlfriend!" They objectify us to an item that can cure boredom.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned/ weird/ stupid but I am truly disgusted by the existence of such guys. They will only bother to know you for a couple of months before confessions start spewing out of their mouths. Before you feel flattered, think. He has confessed to a dozen girls before you.

And through this sea of bad stinky rotten fishes, there are a few nice guys out there. But they've mingled with too many stinky assholes for too long so it's difficult to sniff them out. Prove yourself to be someone who really is different from other bad fishes.

A relationship takes more than a confession to start. It's not a "I like you.", "I like you too!" "Oh let's get into a relationship" kind of scenerio. Spend more time with the person. Know his/her dislikes and likes. If she likes going to the museum, don't plan a date to the movies. It's lame. You watch a movie and don't get to interact with each other. Why don't you find a good exhibition that's on-going and head over there?