First Day of School.
Skipped whole of CBC214 to get HW.
Felt depressed about my GPA.
Then cheered up when mummy finally said yes to Edinburgh!
Excited now.
Skeleton-planning my trip (Already?!).
Thinking of going couch-surfing.
But results for application not out yet.
Still excited!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Love and Other Drugs
Topped my "Most Disappointing Movies" list. The trailer was good. The cast was good. The plot seemed different from other sappy romance movies.
But the movie was really bad.
1. 50% of the screen time was Jake Gyllenhaal having sex with another woman. (Or one scene, "women".)
2. There was no development of characters. It was just them meeting each other, making love then suddenly Gyllenhaal becomes successful and then, they fight and make up. Every plot, character and detail was just vague and and loose ends were well, tied flimsily together at the end of the movie.
What made Jamie (Gyllenhaal) love Maggie (Hatteway)? I still don't know.
Was Jamie really that a great guy as Maggie said he was? That wasn't explored.
Even the reason that Maggie broke up with Jamie wasn't even explicit. It was just "Since you can't accept who I am, we need to break up." And next scene, Jamie has packed his stuff and the only protest he's got is "We don't need to do this."
However , it does have some good points...
1. Introduces you to the pharmaceutical industry. (Its competitiveness, etc.) And perhaps a little of the reality of the medical industry.
2. You get to see Gyllenhaal and Hatteway naked.
So, if you're intending to watch it. You might need popcorn. For the lousy plot which you just frown upon and just wait for Hatteway to appear in the movie. (Which is a good 30 min or 45 min into the film.)
I really hated it. Girls, please download it in Funshion and watch it. But don't go to the cinema. It's not worth it.
Oh, oh! For people following the colourful love life of Taylor Swift: http://www.disneydreaming.com/2011/01/16/has-taylor-swift-already-moved-on-from-jake-gyllenhaal/
She has no right to write Dear John, because I feel she is just as bad.
Topped my "Most Disappointing Movies" list. The trailer was good. The cast was good. The plot seemed different from other sappy romance movies.
But the movie was really bad.
1. 50% of the screen time was Jake Gyllenhaal having sex with another woman. (Or one scene, "women".)
2. There was no development of characters. It was just them meeting each other, making love then suddenly Gyllenhaal becomes successful and then, they fight and make up. Every plot, character and detail was just vague and and loose ends were well, tied flimsily together at the end of the movie.
What made Jamie (Gyllenhaal) love Maggie (Hatteway)? I still don't know.
Was Jamie really that a great guy as Maggie said he was? That wasn't explored.
Even the reason that Maggie broke up with Jamie wasn't even explicit. It was just "Since you can't accept who I am, we need to break up." And next scene, Jamie has packed his stuff and the only protest he's got is "We don't need to do this."
However , it does have some good points...
1. Introduces you to the pharmaceutical industry. (Its competitiveness, etc.) And perhaps a little of the reality of the medical industry.
2. You get to see Gyllenhaal and Hatteway naked.
So, if you're intending to watch it. You might need popcorn. For the lousy plot which you just frown upon and just wait for Hatteway to appear in the movie. (Which is a good 30 min or 45 min into the film.)
I really hated it. Girls, please download it in Funshion and watch it. But don't go to the cinema. It's not worth it.
Oh, oh! For people following the colourful love life of Taylor Swift: http://www.disneydreaming.com/2011/01/16/has-taylor-swift-already-moved-on-from-jake-gyllenhaal/
She has no right to write Dear John, because I feel she is just as bad.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
21 and single.
How does that feel like?
Sometimes scary, sometimes nonchalant.
Scary because I see no prospects of becoming attached anytime soon.
Nonchalant because I figured I have no need of a boyfriend.
It's kind of an oxymoron - I don't know if I want one or not.
When I see happy couples hand-in-hand, I admit it does stir a warm longing ache. I mentally scroll through my mind, for the suitors that I can accept. But a latch always locks the door and say "Never settle for less." And by "less", I mean anything less than "the one". I don't know if he even exists.
But when someone shows signs of interest, I have my defenses up. I'd concentrate on the negative traits (or rather, traits I find undesirable) of the person. My mum thinks I should at least give them a chance and go out on a date or two with them. But why give false hope when I've already decided? Will I change my mind if I go out with them?
The awkwardness and the slight feeling of disgust (Why am I doing here with you?) when we have our meal. The fake smile and the fake sparkle I have to plaster on my eyes. The cringing look masked as a laugh. The internal voice in your head that goes "Oh what a turn off. What a turn off." as I think of his "undesirable" traits.
That takes up a damn large amount of my energy. And in between this energy I waste, there's only 0.0001% chance I am able to see something nice about him because I'm too busy filling my self-pity bucket.
Oh why are you slouching, so uncertain of yourself? TURN OFF.
Oh why are you so egoistic, you male chauvinistic windbag? TURN OFF.
I only see the two extreme ends of the spectrum.
Or maybe, the problem lies with the male! Not me.
Can't they be more creative? A date constitutes to 80% of the male population as dinner + movie.
For goodness' sake! If you want a date, shouldn't you do some research?
Dinner + movie is pointless! Half the time I'm sitting in the dark (feeling vulnerable) and you're not giving me a chance to know you more, idiot! Do you think we'll talk during the movie?
We'll talk about the movie if we have dinner after the movie. And if we have dinner before the movie, most of the time is spent to break the ice.
And most girls only give guys that they won't consider one date to prove themselves. So good luck to you if you ask a girl out for a D+M date.
How does that feel like?
Sometimes scary, sometimes nonchalant.
Scary because I see no prospects of becoming attached anytime soon.
Nonchalant because I figured I have no need of a boyfriend.
It's kind of an oxymoron - I don't know if I want one or not.
When I see happy couples hand-in-hand, I admit it does stir a warm longing ache. I mentally scroll through my mind, for the suitors that I can accept. But a latch always locks the door and say "Never settle for less." And by "less", I mean anything less than "the one". I don't know if he even exists.
But when someone shows signs of interest, I have my defenses up. I'd concentrate on the negative traits (or rather, traits I find undesirable) of the person. My mum thinks I should at least give them a chance and go out on a date or two with them. But why give false hope when I've already decided? Will I change my mind if I go out with them?
The awkwardness and the slight feeling of disgust (Why am I doing here with you?) when we have our meal. The fake smile and the fake sparkle I have to plaster on my eyes. The cringing look masked as a laugh. The internal voice in your head that goes "Oh what a turn off. What a turn off." as I think of his "undesirable" traits.
That takes up a damn large amount of my energy. And in between this energy I waste, there's only 0.0001% chance I am able to see something nice about him because I'm too busy filling my self-pity bucket.
Oh why are you slouching, so uncertain of yourself? TURN OFF.
Oh why are you so egoistic, you male chauvinistic windbag? TURN OFF.
I only see the two extreme ends of the spectrum.
______________________________________________
Or maybe, the problem lies with the male! Not me.
Can't they be more creative? A date constitutes to 80% of the male population as dinner + movie.
For goodness' sake! If you want a date, shouldn't you do some research?
Dinner + movie is pointless! Half the time I'm sitting in the dark (feeling vulnerable) and you're not giving me a chance to know you more, idiot! Do you think we'll talk during the movie?
We'll talk about the movie if we have dinner after the movie. And if we have dinner before the movie, most of the time is spent to break the ice.
And most girls only give guys that they won't consider one date to prove themselves. So good luck to you if you ask a girl out for a D+M date.
GAH. Anyway, bff, at this rate I'm going, you'd better not be married when you're 30!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
How I fell in love:
I remember that day ever so early.
I was sitting in Island Creamary, dipping stawberry Pocky sticks into my applecrumble ice-cream. I was with my cell group. I remember tuning out of their conversation and watching the cars go by from the ceiling-to-floor glass windows.
It was when I heard.
Clarity by John Mayer.
It was the perfect song, for that particular laidback day of ice-cream.
So I began, at the age of sixteen, loving John Mayer.
Then again, every song of his is perfect.
I've come to appreciate him alot these few months. Watching his random ramblings during shows on Youtube, you find that he is so unafraid of criticism, at times putting his foot in his mouth.
But I think for every JM fan, it's what they love about him: his honesty.
Of course, the fact that he's so so hot! :D I mean, he's not handsome but he's just like, so talented, so confident of himself, so at ease that you'll be a melted puddle.
I want to see him perform. Still on my to-do list before I die.
Try the album Where The Light Is!
And I think JM is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy better than Jason Mraz. Mraz is nowhere near JM. (HEHEHEHE Pravin, online declaration.)
I remember that day ever so early.
I was sitting in Island Creamary, dipping stawberry Pocky sticks into my applecrumble ice-cream. I was with my cell group. I remember tuning out of their conversation and watching the cars go by from the ceiling-to-floor glass windows.
It was when I heard.
It was the perfect song, for that particular laidback day of ice-cream.
So I began, at the age of sixteen, loving John Mayer.
Then again, every song of his is perfect.
I've come to appreciate him alot these few months. Watching his random ramblings during shows on Youtube, you find that he is so unafraid of criticism, at times putting his foot in his mouth.
But I think for every JM fan, it's what they love about him: his honesty.
Of course, the fact that he's so so hot! :D I mean, he's not handsome but he's just like, so talented, so confident of himself, so at ease that you'll be a melted puddle.
I want to see him perform. Still on my to-do list before I die.
Try the album Where The Light Is!
And I think JM is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy better than Jason Mraz. Mraz is nowhere near JM. (HEHEHEHE Pravin, online declaration.)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Sometimes I wonder if I am missing out in life.
Especially when I log into Facebook and see my friends (and 'friends') sun-tanning on the beach, partying --> not necessarily drinking, eating yummy food, having fun with friends etc.
And I'm sitting on my old green roller chair scrolling through the 'recently posted wall'.
Maybe sometimes I'll play iSketch, Jamlegend (don't roll your eyes if you know what it is! I prolly can beat you on Skilled. >:D ) or watch telly.
The thing is, everytime before I head out of the house, one thought never fails to get out of my brain: How can I escape this?
It's like there is this spring that pulls me back into the house everytime before I leave it. If I'm going out to meet a friend for dinner I'll think: I don't really feel like going out. Maybe I shouln't go out. So what excuse can I come out with this time?
So the times where you see me out of the house, it's when I run dry of excuses not to.
I do that for everyone though. Even babe. (don't hit me please!! *cower*)
****
The weird thing is that if I go out consecutively for like, three days, I start to feel very unhappy and think I'm in desperate need of a cave day --> term for days where I stay at home, refusing to go out.
Really really unhappy. On the third consecutive day where I head out, I'll be thinking: I need to leave early somehow. Or: I really dislike this person (even though I actually don't). I'll turn into this irritable, nasty and mean bitch even w/o PMS.
This is where I feel terribly conflicted. While others seem having fun, when I am in their shoes, I feel absolutely discontented. Oh, I know I'm a weirdo already, thanks.
So I reach back to the same conclusion everytime. I'm always happier staying at home, wondering what I am missing out in life. Because, in reality, I don't know what I am missing out since I do not know how the appreciate the real joys of social life.
Especially when I log into Facebook and see my friends (and 'friends') sun-tanning on the beach, partying --> not necessarily drinking, eating yummy food, having fun with friends etc.
And I'm sitting on my old green roller chair scrolling through the 'recently posted wall'.
Maybe sometimes I'll play iSketch, Jamlegend (don't roll your eyes if you know what it is! I prolly can beat you on Skilled. >:D ) or watch telly.
The thing is, everytime before I head out of the house, one thought never fails to get out of my brain: How can I escape this?
It's like there is this spring that pulls me back into the house everytime before I leave it. If I'm going out to meet a friend for dinner I'll think: I don't really feel like going out. Maybe I shouln't go out. So what excuse can I come out with this time?
So the times where you see me out of the house, it's when I run dry of excuses not to.
I do that for everyone though. Even babe. (don't hit me please!! *cower*)
The weird thing is that if I go out consecutively for like, three days, I start to feel very unhappy and think I'm in desperate need of a cave day --> term for days where I stay at home, refusing to go out.
Really really unhappy. On the third consecutive day where I head out, I'll be thinking: I need to leave early somehow. Or: I really dislike this person (even though I actually don't). I'll turn into this irritable, nasty and mean bitch even w/o PMS.
This is where I feel terribly conflicted. While others seem having fun, when I am in their shoes, I feel absolutely discontented. Oh, I know I'm a weirdo already, thanks.
So I reach back to the same conclusion everytime. I'm always happier staying at home, wondering what I am missing out in life. Because, in reality, I don't know what I am missing out since I do not know how the appreciate the real joys of social life.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Maybe this is how being a mother feels like.
WORRYING.
I'm worried crazy over my two kids. If I don't express it now I think I'll burst like a bubble gum that's blown too huge.
I'm tutoring two kids now.
(1) One is a Sec 1 kid who is really sweet. Very polite but lazy. He'll do the homework I assign him one hour before tuition. HOW TO SUBMIT DECENT WORK IF YOU DO LAST MINUTE! ):
So for the past six months I've been receiving last-minute scribblings.
(2) Two is a Pri 5 kid. She is very mischeivous. And she's refuses to put in her best. (At least One will try his hardest to think of the answer when I ask him a question.) I don't know how to motivate her.
What I'm doing now:
(1) For One, although the half-baked work does bother me, it is not at the top of my concerns. He answers questions that I ask and actively participates in the lessons, clarifying his doubts and such. BUT he's learning Acids and Alkalis (science) and Angles (maths) now and he's having trouble for the first time this year.
I remember how in Secondary 1 I had the same problem. The teacher would shove equations down my throat, asking me to memorize them. And I don't want to do that to One.
A: Sulfuric acid + carbonate --> Salt + water + carbon dioxide
B: Sulfuric acid + metal --> Salt + hydrogen
My dearest One asked me yesterday why can't water be produced as well for B. I have no idea how to explain it to him sufficiently succint without going in dept into the chemistry. Keep in mind that poor sec ones do not know our friendly neighbours electrons, protons and neutrons yet. So they wouldn't know the chemical formulae of sulphate and his multi-atomic friends.
Anyway I found a way of explaning it to him somehow yesterday. I was literally squeezing his brain dry.
"So carbonate with acid will always produce carbon dioxide" *squeeze*
"How can acid with metal produce carbon dioxide??" *squeeze*
"Tell me what elements sulfuric acid contains." *squeeze*
"You forgot what are elements??????" *squeeze*
Poor One.
(2) Two doesn't complete the homework I give. Oops. I should say H.W. because she hates the word "homework" (and will say, "Don't say it!!" when I'm about to say "Homework"). When I'm teaching she'll lay her head on the table. I ask her a question, she'll shrug her shoulders. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
The thing is if I prompt her, she knows the answer. She just refuses to think.
Do you know I got a C for maths in PSLE? Before every lesson, I'd plan first. Then complete the maths questions before I head for tuition. And when your dear student mischievously refuses to think, it gets really disheartening.
Two didn't complete her H.W. again yesterday. So in addition to the new H.W. I assigned her yesterday, she must complete the ones from previous lesson. I want her to learn that she should not delay doing her H.W. and she should complete it on time. I'm predicting when I visit her on Satuday she wouldn't have completed much either.
I'm lost. Can anyone suggest an effective method for me to employ?
I don't want to punish my students. I don't want them to dread tuition lesson. I want them to think it is a lesson where they can learn yet interact actively with a tutor. So I go by reward system. It doesn't seem to be working well though!
(If you want to get tutor, remember: your tuition rate is proportional to the results your student must receive. So if it pays well, you can be sure as pie that the parents expect results to be rising as fast as your stress level!)
WORRYING.
I'm worried crazy over my two kids. If I don't express it now I think I'll burst like a bubble gum that's blown too huge.
I'm tutoring two kids now.
(1) One is a Sec 1 kid who is really sweet. Very polite but lazy. He'll do the homework I assign him one hour before tuition. HOW TO SUBMIT DECENT WORK IF YOU DO LAST MINUTE! ):
So for the past six months I've been receiving last-minute scribblings.
(2) Two is a Pri 5 kid. She is very mischeivous. And she's refuses to put in her best. (At least One will try his hardest to think of the answer when I ask him a question.) I don't know how to motivate her.
What I'm doing now:
(1) For One, although the half-baked work does bother me, it is not at the top of my concerns. He answers questions that I ask and actively participates in the lessons, clarifying his doubts and such. BUT he's learning Acids and Alkalis (science) and Angles (maths) now and he's having trouble for the first time this year.
I remember how in Secondary 1 I had the same problem. The teacher would shove equations down my throat, asking me to memorize them. And I don't want to do that to One.
A: Sulfuric acid + carbonate --> Salt + water + carbon dioxide
B: Sulfuric acid + metal --> Salt + hydrogen
My dearest One asked me yesterday why can't water be produced as well for B. I have no idea how to explain it to him sufficiently succint without going in dept into the chemistry. Keep in mind that poor sec ones do not know our friendly neighbours electrons, protons and neutrons yet. So they wouldn't know the chemical formulae of sulphate and his multi-atomic friends.
Anyway I found a way of explaning it to him somehow yesterday. I was literally squeezing his brain dry.
"So carbonate with acid will always produce carbon dioxide" *squeeze*
"How can acid with metal produce carbon dioxide??" *squeeze*
"Tell me what elements sulfuric acid contains." *squeeze*
"You forgot what are elements??????" *squeeze*
Poor One.
(2) Two doesn't complete the homework I give. Oops. I should say H.W. because she hates the word "homework" (and will say, "Don't say it!!" when I'm about to say "Homework"). When I'm teaching she'll lay her head on the table. I ask her a question, she'll shrug her shoulders. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
The thing is if I prompt her, she knows the answer. She just refuses to think.
Do you know I got a C for maths in PSLE? Before every lesson, I'd plan first. Then complete the maths questions before I head for tuition. And when your dear student mischievously refuses to think, it gets really disheartening.
Two didn't complete her H.W. again yesterday. So in addition to the new H.W. I assigned her yesterday, she must complete the ones from previous lesson. I want her to learn that she should not delay doing her H.W. and she should complete it on time. I'm predicting when I visit her on Satuday she wouldn't have completed much either.
I'm lost. Can anyone suggest an effective method for me to employ?
I don't want to punish my students. I don't want them to dread tuition lesson. I want them to think it is a lesson where they can learn yet interact actively with a tutor. So I go by reward system. It doesn't seem to be working well though!
(If you want to get tutor, remember: your tuition rate is proportional to the results your student must receive. So if it pays well, you can be sure as pie that the parents expect results to be rising as fast as your stress level!)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
"Hi, I like children but I'm not a paedophile."
When your friend sees a child who is stumbling on his stout little legs and he/she goes, "Look at that baby! He's cute!"
When your friend sees a child who is stumbling on his stout little legs and he/she goes, "Look at that baby! He's cute!"
Do you go
"Paedophile."
and turn away?
If yes,
the term "Paedophile" is loosely defined by you as anyone who likes pre-pubescent children.
If yes,
the term "Paedophile" is loosely defined by you as anyone who likes pre-pubescent children.
Heh heh if you like Justin Bieber, you're a paedophile. There are more than 7 million paedophiles in the world.
Oh, might as well, a murderer is defined as anyone who holds a knife.
Thief is defined as anyone who borrows your possessions.
It is so irksome whenever someone calls me a paedophile.
A paedophile is "an adult who is sexually attracted to children" (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/paedophile)
This guy is a paedophile. I am not.
I have absolutely no sexual designs on children. Never ever do I have a flicker of sexual interest in them.
(1) Their innocence is just something that I find extremely adorable. If you compare a hormone-ranging teenager who says "I love you" with a motive VERSUS a little boy/girl who writes down "I love you teacher" because he/she likes you teaching him/her, which one would you find more adorable?
OF COURSE THE CHILD! (If you chose the teenager, please bang your head on the nearest wall.)
(2) Compare a child who hands you a gift (handmade somemore) shyly and then quickly scuttles away VESUS a man/woman who gives you a gift but he/she is actually interested in you and wants something more from you. Which one is more adorable?
You might say: How can you compare these two? One is a child, the other might be your potential partner blah blah blah. By bringing them both together it shows that you have a deeper interest in children yak yak yak.
NO. I am just trying to show that children are very adorable. It's okay to gush about how cute you think they are like how you gush about a cute guy/girl in your course but minus the sexual innuendo.
SO, you're not a paedophile if you think children are cute. Ignore that foul-mouth friend of yours who simply throws that term around!!!
Watch her reaction the second time she eats the lemon.
*shakes head* I don't get it, since when has the term "paedophile" been on the tip of the tongue of so many people. Is it because of the dastardly deeds of the Catholic priests? Is it because of the media, choosing to report the countless cases of paedophiles (reporting white collar crime is no longer in fashion)?
Whatever it is, call me a paedophile, I am going to continue liking children (and planning on having a few when I get married).
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Since the usually-uninterested-in-football WUNYEN AKA MISS CHARLES has blogged about football, (Andsoblatantlyshowedhersupportforateamthatisgoingagainstmine) I will blog about my favourite team also!
This is the team I support:
No, actually. I'm a lousy supporter. Because. I only support the guy at the second row, extreme right.
That's right, Torres. I SUPPORT YOU (and your team). Even though you didn't score any goals but well, my love for you is not depended on the number of goals you score. So...ILY!
I know, he's married with a kid but please!
They both don't look too happy. The bulldog looks even happier.
I would never ever dump you with a baby and go cavoting elsewhere!
Look how grumpy he is.
I will let you wear the pants in the relationship Torres I swear!!
Now you know how deep my love for you is. Please win tonight!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo (ah lian style)
This is the team I support:
No, actually. I'm a lousy supporter. Because. I only support the guy at the second row, extreme right.
That's right, Torres. I SUPPORT YOU (and your team). Even though you didn't score any goals but well, my love for you is not depended on the number of goals you score. So...ILY!
I know, he's married with a kid but please!
They both don't look too happy. The bulldog looks even happier.
I would never ever dump you with a baby and go cavoting elsewhere!
Look how grumpy he is.
I will let you wear the pants in the relationship Torres I swear!!
Now you know how deep my love for you is. Please win tonight!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo (ah lian style)
Why going out is terriblybad:
1. You have to think of what to wear before you head out. (Magnitude of headache varies from person to person.)
2. If you cannot control your spending (me), you end up penniless much sooner than you expect.
3. You feel sleepy but you can't just zonk out anywhere. Esp. after lunch.
4. If you're out with your friends, it's kinda rude to put up a 'sian'(bored) face.
5. You get exposed to the sun's rays = UV rays = freckles/ wrinkles @ terribad speed (again, this varies from individual to another.)
6. Most Singaporean guys are ugly. HEH. But @ home you can look at Justin Bieber (!), Jude Law, Fernando Torres, etc.
7. The wind becomes your enemy, if you have long unmanageable hair.
8. You worry about finding a toliet esp. horrid if your bladder is small.
1. You have to think of what to wear before you head out. (Magnitude of headache varies from person to person.)
2. If you cannot control your spending (me), you end up penniless much sooner than you expect.
3. You feel sleepy but you can't just zonk out anywhere. Esp. after lunch.
4. If you're out with your friends, it's kinda rude to put up a 'sian'(bored) face.
5. You get exposed to the sun's rays = UV rays = freckles/ wrinkles @ terribad speed (again, this varies from individual to another.)
6. Most Singaporean guys are ugly. HEH. But @ home you can look at Justin Bieber (!), Jude Law, Fernando Torres, etc.
7. The wind becomes your enemy, if you have long unmanageable hair.
8. You worry about finding a toliet esp. horrid if your bladder is small.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Love said...
i was dead
i came alive
i was tears
i became laughter
all because of love
when it arrived
my temporal life
from then on
changed to eternal
love said to me
you are not
crazy enough
you don't
fit this house
i went and
became crazy
crazy enough
to be in chains
love said
you are not
intoxicated enough
you don't
fit the group
i went and
got drunk
drunk enough
to overflow
with light-headedness
love said
you are still
too clever
filled with
imagination and skepticism
i went and
became gullible
and in fright
pulled away
from it all
love said
you are a candle
attracting everyone
gathering every
one
around you
i am no more
a candle spreading light
i gather no more crowds
and like smoke
i am all scattered now
love said
you are a teacher
you are a head
and for everyone
you are a leader
i am no more
not a teacher
not a leader
just a servant
to your wishes
love said
you already have
your own wings
i will not give you
more feathers
and then my heart
pulled itself apart
and filled to the brim
with a new light
overflowed with fresh life
now even the heavens
are thankful that
because of love
i have become
the giver of light
(Poem taken from Jason Mraz's blog)
Dear friend,
if you only knew this wait has no end. You might think me as ahead you but my feet has not moved for years. Your offered hand is not mine to take. Neither is your heart. You say change but for a person who is right for you, there is no need. I am blessed to be your friend because when I'm with you I feel that I can blurt out anything, still know I'm accepted. I'm glad you're my friend because you're ever so ready to help. I'm happy we're friends because we share the same ideas. But it stops here, my dear friend, because you should move on without me.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Looking at the universities available for INSTEP (exchange programme).
These are the list of universities I'm interested in but yet to see if they match my core modules!
1. Elon University (USA)
http://www.elon.edu/e-web/academics/elon_college/chemistry/courses.xhtml
Looks pretty good huh!
2. Yonsei University (Korea)
Though I don't know Korean but I heard that it's easy to match core modules for my course in this university!
3. Norwegian University of Science and Technology (Norway)
This one only accepts Year 3/ 4. So have to wait one additional semester. ):
I need to go back to Malaysia soon. I don't like Singapore. I don't feel any sense of belonging. Childhood memories in Malaysia beckons!
These are the list of universities I'm interested in but yet to see if they match my core modules!
1. Elon University (USA)
http://www.elon.edu/e-web/academics/elon_college/chemistry/courses.xhtml
Looks pretty good huh!
2. Yonsei University (Korea)
Though I don't know Korean but I heard that it's easy to match core modules for my course in this university!
3. Norwegian University of Science and Technology (Norway)
This one only accepts Year 3/ 4. So have to wait one additional semester. ):
I need to go back to Malaysia soon. I don't like Singapore. I don't feel any sense of belonging. Childhood memories in Malaysia beckons!
Friday, June 11, 2010
I'm happy this way so I don't think I want you in my life the way you want to be.
My ECA* (NTU apparantly calls them that.) event is overrrrr! (: Can't wait till my contract is over too. Heehee. But I shan't write too much on my ECA, it's boring.
Oh yeah yesterday was my event, if you didn't know. I was supposed to get the refreshments from a factory in Woodlands and due to my poor directory skills we got horribly lost in the industrial estate. It was then I found out that I have developed my dad's any-direction-also-take-to-reach-destination habit cos I was just directing my friend to whichever direction that I thought it was. MUHAHAHAHA.
But it was quite mean on my part because I failed to think about my friend's petrol cost.
We reached after like an hour of going in circles. My 100ml bladder was screaming. (ANYWAY! Did you know that a human usually can hold up to 200ml of pee??) That aside I actually had a terrible headache cause my friend drives much faster than my 80km/h dad.
I think I need more training for car trips. Usually I'll just tell my dad to stop at any available place with a restroom but you know, it's hard to do that with your friends. Unless it's wunyen then I don't mind. But I don't think I want to sit in the car when she's driving. Heehee.
Oh oh my friend was driving a Merz and only ah peks drive that!!! But I refrained from commenting, sat quietly like a good passenger. Joking, a Merz is awesome. Very smooth car ride.
Next week, ZOO!
p/s Another post w/o photographs. Promise to post photos from zoo.
*ECA = Extra-curriculum activity
My ECA* (NTU apparantly calls them that.) event is overrrrr! (: Can't wait till my contract is over too. Heehee. But I shan't write too much on my ECA, it's boring.
Oh yeah yesterday was my event, if you didn't know. I was supposed to get the refreshments from a factory in Woodlands and due to my poor directory skills we got horribly lost in the industrial estate. It was then I found out that I have developed my dad's any-direction-also-take-to-reach-destination habit cos I was just directing my friend to whichever direction that I thought it was. MUHAHAHAHA.
But it was quite mean on my part because I failed to think about my friend's petrol cost.
We reached after like an hour of going in circles. My 100ml bladder was screaming. (ANYWAY! Did you know that a human usually can hold up to 200ml of pee??) That aside I actually had a terrible headache cause my friend drives much faster than my 80km/h dad.
I think I need more training for car trips. Usually I'll just tell my dad to stop at any available place with a restroom but you know, it's hard to do that with your friends. Unless it's wunyen then I don't mind. But I don't think I want to sit in the car when she's driving. Heehee.
Oh oh my friend was driving a Merz and only ah peks drive that!!! But I refrained from commenting, sat quietly like a good passenger. Joking, a Merz is awesome. Very smooth car ride.
Next week, ZOO!
p/s Another post w/o photographs. Promise to post photos from zoo.
*ECA = Extra-curriculum activity
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I have to apologize for the lack of photographs. Sigh, I do not have the habit of taking photos. ): my photography skills suck too. I think wunyen does a FANTASTIC job though.
These few weeks are going to be (and is already) hectic x 99 but after next week, I'd be free as a bird. So wunyen, alicia and gillian, let's go out then okay! I know wunyen has recently fallen in love with OUAM so maybe two of us can have a date and head over there? (: rum and raisins is good you know!
Anyway I read Syuhrah's blog and she posted something that started like this:
"We have to listen to our emotions and we have to be true to them.
Unfortunately, we can’t decide whether they will be emotions with good
energy or negative energy. But what we can do is express them fully and
immediately. And thus we purge them, and rob them of their ability to
control us."
If you read on, you'd probably get an idea of what is happening. I hope it'll turn out for the better, babe. You need to get out of that place because it seems to be filled with so much negative energy.
The thing I love most about my relationship with babe is that we can don't talk for weeks but once we meet up/chat online/ text each other, we pick up from where we left. There's no preliminaries or awkwardness. We're comfortable with each other.
Anyway, this blog post is going to a purge-of-emotions entry because we want to "rob them of their ability to control us". Heh.
I'm very tired. I've been staying out recently, reaching home at midnight. Involved in something I feel no passion for. I really do sympathize them but being a volunteer for the hearing-impaired does not suit me. I'm not committed, not dedicated to them. How do I educate people about them, when I myself am not enthusiastic about what I do? The only thing that is keeping me in it is the people. There are many many awesome people in RSPHI.
So, munling, you always choose to learn the hard way. Never ever choose a extra-curriculum activity because your friend chose it.
Now I just hope January to quickly arrive and I can join what I really wanted to join. (I signed a bond to the ECA, you see.)
Moving on...
I don't know if it's a recent trend or it's something you only experience when you get older or it's just that universities (or only my university) are filled with desperate guys but...there are so many guys out there looking for a girlfriend.
That sounds harmless. But they just want a girlfriend for the sake of having one. They don't consider the consequences, like the commitment you have to contribute. Their desire for a girlfriend is usually expressed as "Uni life/ hostel very boring ah! I need a girlfriend!" They objectify us to an item that can cure boredom.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned/ weird/ stupid but I am truly disgusted by the existence of such guys. They will only bother to know you for a couple of months before confessions start spewing out of their mouths. Before you feel flattered, think. He has confessed to a dozen girls before you.
And through this sea of bad stinky rotten fishes, there are a few nice guys out there. But they've mingled with too many stinky assholes for too long so it's difficult to sniff them out. Prove yourself to be someone who really is different from other bad fishes.
A relationship takes more than a confession to start. It's not a "I like you.", "I like you too!" "Oh let's get into a relationship" kind of scenerio. Spend more time with the person. Know his/her dislikes and likes. If she likes going to the museum, don't plan a date to the movies. It's lame. You watch a movie and don't get to interact with each other. Why don't you find a good exhibition that's on-going and head over there?
These few weeks are going to be (and is already) hectic x 99 but after next week, I'd be free as a bird. So wunyen, alicia and gillian, let's go out then okay! I know wunyen has recently fallen in love with OUAM so maybe two of us can have a date and head over there? (: rum and raisins is good you know!
Anyway I read Syuhrah's blog and she posted something that started like this:
Unfortunately, we can’t decide whether they will be emotions with good
energy or negative energy. But what we can do is express them fully and
immediately. And thus we purge them, and rob them of their ability to
control us."
If you read on, you'd probably get an idea of what is happening. I hope it'll turn out for the better, babe. You need to get out of that place because it seems to be filled with so much negative energy.
The thing I love most about my relationship with babe is that we can don't talk for weeks but once we meet up/chat online/ text each other, we pick up from where we left. There's no preliminaries or awkwardness. We're comfortable with each other.
Anyway, this blog post is going to a purge-of-emotions entry because we want to "rob them of their ability to control us". Heh.
I'm very tired. I've been staying out recently, reaching home at midnight. Involved in something I feel no passion for. I really do sympathize them but being a volunteer for the hearing-impaired does not suit me. I'm not committed, not dedicated to them. How do I educate people about them, when I myself am not enthusiastic about what I do? The only thing that is keeping me in it is the people. There are many many awesome people in RSPHI.
So, munling, you always choose to learn the hard way. Never ever choose a extra-curriculum activity because your friend chose it.
Now I just hope January to quickly arrive and I can join what I really wanted to join. (I signed a bond to the ECA, you see.)
Moving on...
I don't know if it's a recent trend or it's something you only experience when you get older or it's just that universities (or only my university) are filled with desperate guys but...there are so many guys out there looking for a girlfriend.
That sounds harmless. But they just want a girlfriend for the sake of having one. They don't consider the consequences, like the commitment you have to contribute. Their desire for a girlfriend is usually expressed as "Uni life/ hostel very boring ah! I need a girlfriend!" They objectify us to an item that can cure boredom.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned/ weird/ stupid but I am truly disgusted by the existence of such guys. They will only bother to know you for a couple of months before confessions start spewing out of their mouths. Before you feel flattered, think. He has confessed to a dozen girls before you.
And through this sea of bad stinky rotten fishes, there are a few nice guys out there. But they've mingled with too many stinky assholes for too long so it's difficult to sniff them out. Prove yourself to be someone who really is different from other bad fishes.
A relationship takes more than a confession to start. It's not a "I like you.", "I like you too!" "Oh let's get into a relationship" kind of scenerio. Spend more time with the person. Know his/her dislikes and likes. If she likes going to the museum, don't plan a date to the movies. It's lame. You watch a movie and don't get to interact with each other. Why don't you find a good exhibition that's on-going and head over there?
Friday, May 21, 2010
I'm sooooo tired!!!!
1. I reached home @ around 12am yesterday.
2. A school (figuratively) called me just now to relief classes.
Then someone shouted over the phone that they have teachers to cover the classes already.
So now I'm wide awake. And extremely tired. Kill me.
I want to go out tonight.
GAH.
/edit. I'M BACK HERE TO RANT.
Friend number 1. We were supposed to have dinner one day. But as we were on our way to the restaurant, I felt so unready to have that meal with him. So I walked out of the restaurant soon after we reached.
He was angry and he deleted me from Facebook.
Friend number 2. We were having an MSN convo and I was having a terrible headache. So I left in the middle of the conversation w/o saying goodbye. (He was terribly boring anyway.)
He was angry and he deleted me from Facebook.
PLEASE. GET A LIFE. STOP BEING SO CHILDISH. WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY/ PISSED WITH A PERSON TALK IT OUT. DON'T KEEP IT INSIDE AND DO CHILDISH THINGS LIKE DELETING A PERSON FROM FACEBOOK. REALLY. IS THAT ALL YOUR PUNCH IS WORTH?!?
1. I reached home @ around 12am yesterday.
2. A school (figuratively) called me just now to relief classes.
Then someone shouted over the phone that they have teachers to cover the classes already.
So now I'm wide awake. And extremely tired. Kill me.
I want to go out tonight.
GAH.
/edit. I'M BACK HERE TO RANT.
Friend number 1. We were supposed to have dinner one day. But as we were on our way to the restaurant, I felt so unready to have that meal with him. So I walked out of the restaurant soon after we reached.
He was angry and he deleted me from Facebook.
Friend number 2. We were having an MSN convo and I was having a terrible headache. So I left in the middle of the conversation w/o saying goodbye. (He was terribly boring anyway.)
He was angry and he deleted me from Facebook.
PLEASE. GET A LIFE. STOP BEING SO CHILDISH. WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY/ PISSED WITH A PERSON TALK IT OUT. DON'T KEEP IT INSIDE AND DO CHILDISH THINGS LIKE DELETING A PERSON FROM FACEBOOK. REALLY. IS THAT ALL YOUR PUNCH IS WORTH?!?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
WUNYEN IS AN ANNOYING GIRL who doesn't know how to differentiate a date from a meal (see her blog).
Anyway, I have been relief-teaching for a couple days now and I got a stack of love-letters! :D I picked out some to share! From a P3 and P5 class.
From 3 chatty girls sitting at the back of the class. They like to walk around. So I had to resort to sitting on their seats and threaten to not give it up.
One of my favourite drawings. :D Especially what the little boy wrote. HEEHEE. Plus, I'm carrying an instrument I don't know how to play.
I believe this is BEYBLADE! Nice drawing huh!
I was walking around the class and I said, "Nice drawing!" to the girl who was working on it and she graciously gave it to me. :)
That's all! See you soon!
Anyway, I have been relief-teaching for a couple days now and I got a stack of love-letters! :D I picked out some to share! From a P3 and P5 class.
From 3 chatty girls sitting at the back of the class. They like to walk around. So I had to resort to sitting on their seats and threaten to not give it up.
One of my favourite drawings. :D Especially what the little boy wrote. HEEHEE. Plus, I'm carrying an instrument I don't know how to play.
I believe this is BEYBLADE! Nice drawing huh!
I was walking around the class and I said, "Nice drawing!" to the girl who was working on it and she graciously gave it to me. :)
That's all! See you soon!
Monday, March 15, 2010
I'm supposed to complete my resume but I'll do it @ 11a.m.
School has been horrid. Skipping lessons like there's no tomorrow. Whenever I tell my mum she's like "Oh you know best what to do." Perhaps I just want her to go strict on me cos I don't know if she cares or does she really trust me on knowing what's "best"?
GAH. It's after the mid-terms I feel so much better (after mid-terms = minus PAP182 from equation). I'm explaining to Pravin the traffic light system on MSN and he's like, "Is there a colour in between green and amber?" INCREDULOUS!
After much consideration he's now claiming that he's green. I think I'm an in-between too. It's like you're holding back what you're feeling or something like that la.
Bwahahaha. Byebye.
School has been horrid. Skipping lessons like there's no tomorrow. Whenever I tell my mum she's like "Oh you know best what to do." Perhaps I just want her to go strict on me cos I don't know if she cares or does she really trust me on knowing what's "best"?
GAH. It's after the mid-terms I feel so much better (after mid-terms = minus PAP182 from equation). I'm explaining to Pravin the traffic light system on MSN and he's like, "Is there a colour in between green and amber?" INCREDULOUS!
After much consideration he's now claiming that he's green. I think I'm an in-between too. It's like you're holding back what you're feeling or something like that la.
Bwahahaha. Byebye.
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