Love said...

i was dead
i came alive
i was tears
i became laughter

all because of love
when it arrived
my temporal life
from then on
changed to eternal

love said to me
you are not
crazy enough
you don't
fit this house

i went and
became crazy
crazy enough
to be in chains

love said
you are not
intoxicated enough
you don't
fit the group

i went and
got drunk
drunk enough
to overflow
with light-headedness

love said
you are still
too clever
filled with
imagination and skepticism

i went and
became gullible
and in fright
pulled away
from it all

love said
you are a candle
attracting everyone
gathering every
one
around you

i am no more
a candle spreading light
i gather no more crowds
and like smoke
i am all scattered now

love said
you are a teacher
you are a head
and for everyone
you are a leader

i am no more
not a teacher
not a leader
just a servant
to your wishes

love said
you already have
your own wings
i will not give you
more feathers

and then my heart
pulled itself apart
and filled to the brim
with a new light
overflowed with fresh life

now even the heavens
are thankful that
because of love
i have become
the giver of light

(Poem taken from Jason Mraz's blog)


Dear friend,
if you only knew this wait has no end. You might think me as ahead you but my feet has not moved for years. Your offered hand is not mine to take. Neither is your heart. You say change but for a person who is right for you, there is no need. I am blessed to be your friend because when I'm with you I feel that I can blurt out anything, still know I'm accepted. I'm glad you're my friend because you're ever so ready to help. I'm happy we're friends because we share the same ideas. But it stops here, my dear friend, because you should move on without me.

Looking at the universities available for INSTEP (exchange programme).

These are the list of universities I'm interested in but yet to see if they match my core modules!

1. Elon University (USA)
http://www.elon.edu/e-web/academics/elon_college/chemistry/courses.xhtml
Looks pretty good huh!
2. Yonsei University (Korea)
Though I don't know Korean but I heard that it's easy to match core modules for my course in this university!
3. Norwegian University of Science and Technology (Norway)
This one only accepts Year 3/ 4. So have to wait one additional semester. ):



I need to go back to Malaysia soon. I don't like Singapore. I don't feel any sense of belonging. Childhood memories in Malaysia beckons!

I'm happy this way so I don't think I want you in my life the way you want to be.




My ECA* (NTU apparantly calls them that.) event is overrrrr! (: Can't wait till my contract is over too. Heehee. But I shan't write too much on my ECA, it's boring.

Oh yeah yesterday was my event, if you didn't know. I was supposed to get the refreshments from a factory in Woodlands and due to my poor directory skills we got horribly lost in the industrial estate. It was then I found out that I have developed my dad's any-direction-also-take-to-reach-destination habit cos I was just directing my friend to whichever direction that I thought it was. MUHAHAHAHA.

But it was quite mean on my part because I failed to think about my friend's petrol cost.

We reached after like an hour of going in circles. My 100ml bladder was screaming. (ANYWAY! Did you know that a human usually can hold up to 200ml of pee??) That aside I actually had a terrible headache cause my friend drives much faster than my 80km/h dad.

I think I need more training for car trips. Usually I'll just tell my dad to stop at any available place with a restroom but you know, it's hard to do that with your friends. Unless it's wunyen then I don't mind. But I don't think I want to sit in the car when she's driving. Heehee.

Oh oh my friend was driving a Merz and only ah peks drive that!!! But I refrained from commenting, sat quietly like a good passenger. Joking, a Merz is awesome. Very smooth car ride.

Next week, ZOO!

p/s Another post w/o photographs. Promise to post photos from zoo.

*ECA = Extra-curriculum activity

I have to apologize for the lack of photographs. Sigh, I do not have the habit of taking photos. ): my photography skills suck too. I think wunyen does a FANTASTIC job though.


These few weeks are going to be (and is already) hectic x 99 but after next week, I'd be free as a bird. So wunyen, alicia and gillian, let's go out then okay! I know wunyen has recently fallen in love with OUAM so maybe two of us can have a date and head over there? (: rum and raisins is good you know!

Anyway I read Syuhrah's blog and she posted something that started like this:




"We have to listen to our emotions and we have to be true to them.
Unfortunately, we can’t decide whether they will be emotions with good
energy or negative energy. But what we can do is express them fully and
immediately. And thus we purge them, and rob them of their ability to
control us."

If you read on, you'd probably get an idea of what is happening. I hope it'll turn out for the better, babe. You need to get out of that place because it seems to be filled with so much negative energy.

The thing I love most about my relationship with babe is that we can don't talk for weeks but once we meet up/chat online/ text each other, we pick up from where we left. There's no preliminaries or awkwardness. We're comfortable with each other.

Anyway, this blog post is going to a purge-of-emotions entry because we want to "rob them of their ability to control us". Heh.


I'm very tired. I've been staying out recently, reaching home at midnight. Involved in something I feel no passion for. I really do sympathize them but being a volunteer for the hearing-impaired does not suit me. I'm not committed, not dedicated to them. How do I educate people about them, when I myself am not enthusiastic about what I do? The only thing that is keeping me in it is the people. There are many many awesome people in RSPHI.

So, munling, you always choose to learn the hard way. Never ever choose a extra-curriculum activity because your friend chose it.

Now I just hope January to quickly arrive and I can join what I really wanted to join. (I signed a bond to the ECA, you see.)

Moving on...

I don't know if it's a recent trend or it's something you only experience when you get older or it's just that universities (or only my university) are filled with desperate guys but...there are so many guys out there looking for a girlfriend.

That sounds harmless. But they just want a girlfriend for the sake of having one. They don't consider the consequences, like the commitment you have to contribute. Their desire for a girlfriend is usually expressed as "Uni life/ hostel very boring ah! I need a girlfriend!" They objectify us to an item that can cure boredom.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned/ weird/ stupid but I am truly disgusted by the existence of such guys. They will only bother to know you for a couple of months before confessions start spewing out of their mouths. Before you feel flattered, think. He has confessed to a dozen girls before you.

And through this sea of bad stinky rotten fishes, there are a few nice guys out there. But they've mingled with too many stinky assholes for too long so it's difficult to sniff them out. Prove yourself to be someone who really is different from other bad fishes.

A relationship takes more than a confession to start. It's not a "I like you.", "I like you too!" "Oh let's get into a relationship" kind of scenerio. Spend more time with the person. Know his/her dislikes and likes. If she likes going to the museum, don't plan a date to the movies. It's lame. You watch a movie and don't get to interact with each other. Why don't you find a good exhibition that's on-going and head over there?

I'm sooooo tired!!!!

1. I reached home @ around 12am yesterday.
2. A school (figuratively) called me just now to relief classes.
Then someone shouted over the phone that they have teachers to cover the classes already.



So now I'm wide awake. And extremely tired. Kill me.
I want to go out tonight.

GAH.

/edit. I'M BACK HERE TO RANT.
Friend number 1. We were supposed to have dinner one day. But as we were on our way to the restaurant, I felt so unready to have that meal with him. So I walked out of the restaurant soon after we reached.

He was angry and he deleted me from Facebook.


Friend number 2. We were having an MSN convo and I was having a terrible headache. So I left in the middle of the conversation w/o saying goodbye. (He was terribly boring anyway.)

He was angry and he deleted me from Facebook.


PLEASE. GET A LIFE. STOP BEING SO CHILDISH. WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY/ PISSED WITH A PERSON TALK IT OUT. DON'T KEEP IT INSIDE AND DO CHILDISH THINGS LIKE DELETING A PERSON FROM FACEBOOK. REALLY. IS THAT ALL YOUR PUNCH IS WORTH?!?

WUNYEN IS AN ANNOYING GIRL who doesn't know how to differentiate a date from a meal (see her blog).

Anyway, I have been relief-teaching for a couple days now and I got a stack of love-letters! :D I picked out some to share! From a P3 and P5 class.


From 3 chatty girls sitting at the back of the class. They like to walk around. So I had to resort to sitting on their seats and threaten to not give it up.


One of my favourite drawings. :D Especially what the little boy wrote. HEEHEE. Plus, I'm carrying an instrument I don't know how to play.


I believe this is BEYBLADE! Nice drawing huh!


I was walking around the class and I said, "Nice drawing!" to the girl who was working on it and she graciously gave it to me. :)

That's all! See you soon!

I'm supposed to complete my resume but I'll do it @ 11a.m.

School has been horrid. Skipping lessons like there's no tomorrow. Whenever I tell my mum she's like "Oh you know best what to do." Perhaps I just want her to go strict on me cos I don't know if she cares or does she really trust me on knowing what's "best"?

GAH. It's after the mid-terms I feel so much better (after mid-terms = minus PAP182 from equation). I'm explaining to Pravin the traffic light system on MSN and he's like, "Is there a colour in between green and amber?" INCREDULOUS!

After much consideration he's now claiming that he's green. I think I'm an in-between too. It's like you're holding back what you're feeling or something like that la.

Bwahahaha. Byebye.

KEVIN WU
He's my favourite stranger on earth!

I need to bathe in ten minutes' time.

I officially only went to school two days this week. But it's okay 'cause it's recess week soon sooooooooooo it's kind of like an early break for me?

So yeah anyways, I skipped elective yesterday and went home early with Pravin. I'm seriously psyched to attend baking classes as well (since the only thing I can make is cookies) but the classes Pravin recommended costs a bomb.

And then when I read the papers today I suddenly felt an urge to watch Wild Rice's production of Animal Farm. So if I really am going to save up to go for baking classes, I can't watch the play ('cause the play cost a bomb too but not as much as the classes of course.) and I really want to watch a play. I haven't watched one since I left college.

Andddddd I signed up for Summer Research so, if I really get in (crossing my fingers for Prof Narasaka) I won't be able to do either of those. Or so I think.

So much of my time is spent in school, I totally feel I have no life! I think I need to go out of my school's social circle and hang out with WY and babe. I miss them so much. Come to think of it, I haven't seen gillian in...a month? SZ too!

Shouldn't bells in your head start ringing by now?

Started the journey at 330pm and was stuck in horrendous one-after-another traffic jams. Reached Malacca only at 9pm and my dad was terribly tired so we stopped at a highway 'hotel' for the night.





Not particularly interesting place but I was afraid someone would barge into my room in the middle of night.


Had this for my breakfast the next day. Do you know how awful the food in the resthouse is?


I like this old-ish BMW. From its number plate, its most likely from the state of Pahang.


My aunt made this from angpao! (:


This CD was played on replay.

KLANG
Grandma recognized me. I feel kind of...touched/ pleased/ happy when she did. My grandma has dementia. Holding her frail hands just makes you helpless? Like there's so many things in the world you actually cannot control. But let's not get blah-di-blab emotional here.

KL
Spent yesterday night at Mei-cheen's place. My favourite cousin. Suping, Carmen, Mei-cheen and I played Bridge till 2a.m. Mei-cheen and I were blatantly cheating and partnering each other.

Then Mei and I decided to sleep in the living room where there were two daybeds, separated by a wooden table. We tried to talk to each other while lying down but she couldn't hear me (across the table) so she squeezed on to my daybed.

I'm Aunt Agony and aunt agonys become spinsters.

My HW111A groupmate Pravin said that my blog has almost no essence of myself. So here I am rattling away!


Shelvi's love confession to me. XD


Those who attend MADLAB know this. It's the answers to last week's. hs sent this to me my phone but I still failed to copy it well. He finally got fed-up and typed it for me. I absolutely learnt nothing in MADLAB.



hokay. soooooooooooooooo I dunno what else to say. This week has been busybusybusy selling stuff for WSC (RSPHI) to raise funds. I'm so glad it's over.

Yesterday I experienced that internal glowing feeling. It lasted for...2 hours and then it was gone again. I cannot be certain 'cause there are so many out there on rebound nowadays. But I do feel happy when you text me or when I'm just walking next to you.

That doesn't say alot of what's going on in my life. It's okay decipher it yourself!

We went to a beach resort last year, how about the mountains this time?





But the prices are twice of the hotel's last year. But if you make it to Uni. babe, why not right? :D

Perhaps we could call Nicole and Safa along too!

Click to enlarge. Must-click!

GAHHHHHHHHHHH! DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU?

Okay, before I forget, this was taken from the forum that gillian runs: ukissme.SG
I don't know how to credit but I hope I did okay, gillian!

ANYWAY! Kevin's hair is soooo nice. Sufficiently boyish. :D When I saw it I thought it was Alex so I quickly scrolled down only to realize that it was Kevin! (Plus he's sleeping so it makes him 10X more adorable.) STOP SAYING HE LOOKS GIRLY if you're thinking it your mind now. >:D Kevin ah, I like you much more than Dongho now, don't worry!

Why do I sound like gillian in this post? XD

One of my friends today said that I have no 'human' pictures. So I got some. (:
All pictures here are of the Singapore Wedding.


This was the snack served outside the ballroom, together with the cocktails and mocktails. It's chocolate-coated strawberries!


Hanging out in the helpers' hotel room. We got our own room! (:


Outside the ballroom, all dolled up.


In the helpers' hotel room. Sorry, not arranged in chronological order.


Groom coming for the bride. I know my sister is very pretty. But.

She's taken!

Long overdue, but I can't find the CD containing all the photographs. ):


MALAYSIA Sheraton Imperial, Celestial Court. From my seat. Non-VIP.


SINGAPORE Mandarin Oriental Ballroom. I took a fancy to the lights.


SINGAPORE Last course. Warm chocolate fudge oozing out from the brownie. Half-eaten.


SINGAPORE I manage to sneak into the ballroom while they're in preparation to snap a photo of this. Love the blue roses.


SINGAPORE The ever-awesome bride posing for a picture for me! Notice the shoes! (Venue: bridal suite)

Hello hello!

ONE MORE DAY to my sister's wedding in Singapore. Wedding held in Malaysia was on the 19th (Dec). The photographer took loads of pictures. I'm waiting for him to send them so that I leech on it and post it here!

Meanwhile...my awesome cousin from Malaysia took some pictures of the wedding so here's her blog link Xueni's blog where you can check out a couple of pictures. (:

I took pictures of the ballroom and all and yes! I will post them up, collating the SG & MY wedding photographs together.

p/s In contrast to what my cousin blogged, my sister is NOT a Singaporean tho' her husband is. The wedding was held in Sheraton Imperial, K.L. Cocktails were NOT served. Only mocktails.

Pictures taken from outing with WY!


Silhouette of an Indian family. I remember the son having quite a...protruding tummy and WY commenting: so young then have tummy AH.


East Coast Park finally underwent renovations! It was here WY and I met...someone HEH HEH HEH. *raises eyebrows at WY.


WY introduced this ice-cream stall to me. Mocha ice-cream flavour. WY chose jackfruit flavour. *gags*

Nice catch-up session (OR ketchup session as WY always says) with that insane girl. Let's meet up soon! But we have to wait till gillian comes back from London/ Siberia/ Nigeria. She's travelling all over I don't know where she is! Anyway, whenever I meet WY, I never fail to be surprised at how she manages to conceal her true self to her students. I really cannot imagine WY to be serious in front of her students.




See y'all after the wedding!

p/p/s gillian, I blogged! On the very day you asked me somemore leh.

I survived my first semester in university. It has been tough and boy, am I glad gillian is with me.
I can't imagine what will happen if she gets attached. (I'm stealing your line, gillian :D)

I tend to yak too much so I looked through my phone to see if I have anything to share and I only have this pathetic few.


giliian on her birthday. Notice the ring on her finger!
We were at the first floor of canteen A.
Bday card done by WY (gillian holding it). Her only artistic creation since I knew her. XD



This is what studying would lead you to do. Taken before my sign language lesson. My senior trying to camouflage. He has an unbelievable GPA of 4.7/5




Random. My birds' nest wall lamp in my room.



Bombs invade my room when I'm studying. I switched off the light when I took this.
I'm still in love with my purple day curtains.


I'm going out with WY soon. Gonna take loads of pictures then. (:
Oh, not forgetting pictures from my sister's upcoming weddings too. See you!